AuthorTopic: Journey To The Past  (Read 3849 times)

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Journey To The Past
« on: November 06 2006, 05:03 pm »
This post is for discussion of the fan-fiction:

Journey To The Past

Story Description:

A mission in time, to save the past, present, and future.

Offline Arcademan

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Re: Journey To The Past
« Reply #1 on: November 07 2006, 01:14 pm »
Nice start, however you may want to space out your sentences since the entire story looked like it was one long paragraph. Once you space it and paragraph it, it'll look cleaner and I promise, you as well as others will find the same words more enjoyable to read.

Look forward to more :)

"Everything will surely be all right." 「絶対大丈夫だよ。」, "Zettai daijōbu da yo."
"I decided I AM going to collect all the cards!!!
If I don't capture them all, they'll just keep doing bad things!"

Neo-Geo: Come for the games, stay for teh drama!

Offline AirKitty

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Re: Journey To The Past
« Reply #2 on: November 08 2006, 10:47 am »
Thankyou Arcademan, I'll keep that in mind ^-^
~Regular occurences at my School~
Friend:" You do know that your not sopposed to read magna for your reading list?"
Me: " Um.... um.... yea, but what they don't know can't hurt them!"
    Art teacher(with german/french accent)" NO!!! No Anime eyes! I hate them! Make recular eyes on your kite!"
Me: Grumble....Grumble.... Art Teach:" What was that!?" Me: "Nothing..."
        ~ When kite is done~
Friend:" thats anime eyes on your kite, Kelley." Me: " You know that, I know that, But she doesn't!"
 ~ this happens alot at my school~

Offline AirKitty

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Re: Journey To The Past
« Reply #3 on: November 08 2006, 05:25 pm »
:sweatdrop: I'm working on the second chapter, I'm gonna try proof writing it on Microsoff word, to make
it look better (and not so many spelling mistakes)!  :homework:
~Regular occurences at my School~
Friend:" You do know that your not sopposed to read magna for your reading list?"
Me: " Um.... um.... yea, but what they don't know can't hurt them!"
    Art teacher(with german/french accent)" NO!!! No Anime eyes! I hate them! Make recular eyes on your kite!"
Me: Grumble....Grumble.... Art Teach:" What was that!?" Me: "Nothing..."
        ~ When kite is done~
Friend:" thats anime eyes on your kite, Kelley." Me: " You know that, I know that, But she doesn't!"
 ~ this happens alot at my school~

Offline AirKitty

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Re: Journey To The Past
« Reply #4 on: December 04 2006, 01:37 pm »
:D Woot! Chapter two is up! And it's realllll long ( well to me anyways, it took up four pages on Microsoft!  :heh: )
~Regular occurences at my School~
Friend:" You do know that your not sopposed to read magna for your reading list?"
Me: " Um.... um.... yea, but what they don't know can't hurt them!"
    Art teacher(with german/french accent)" NO!!! No Anime eyes! I hate them! Make recular eyes on your kite!"
Me: Grumble....Grumble.... Art Teach:" What was that!?" Me: "Nothing..."
        ~ When kite is done~
Friend:" thats anime eyes on your kite, Kelley." Me: " You know that, I know that, But she doesn't!"
 ~ this happens alot at my school~

Offline Arcademan

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Re: Journey To The Past
« Reply #5 on: December 09 2006, 09:55 am »
Just a few spelling errors but this chapter showed lots of improvement. The end of the chapter added a lot of suspense that has me counting the days until you post the next chapter. Excellent story, AirKitty...keep up the great work :)

"Everything will surely be all right." 「絶対大丈夫だよ。」, "Zettai daijōbu da yo."
"I decided I AM going to collect all the cards!!!
If I don't capture them all, they'll just keep doing bad things!"

Neo-Geo: Come for the games, stay for teh drama!

Offline AirKitty

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Re: Journey To The Past
« Reply #6 on: December 20 2006, 11:36 am »
Thanks, I gotta start working on it!  :heh:
~Regular occurences at my School~
Friend:" You do know that your not sopposed to read magna for your reading list?"
Me: " Um.... um.... yea, but what they don't know can't hurt them!"
    Art teacher(with german/french accent)" NO!!! No Anime eyes! I hate them! Make recular eyes on your kite!"
Me: Grumble....Grumble.... Art Teach:" What was that!?" Me: "Nothing..."
        ~ When kite is done~
Friend:" thats anime eyes on your kite, Kelley." Me: " You know that, I know that, But she doesn't!"
 ~ this happens alot at my school~