AuthorTopic: Syaoran's Hope  (Read 5361 times)

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Syaoran's Hope
« on: December 26 2005, 04:17 pm »
This post is for discussion of the fan-fiction:

Syaoran's Hope

Story Description:

When Sakura is hit by a car, there is no hope for her to live. With the town hospital burnt to the ground, they have to keep Sakura at home. Her father is away on a trip to ruins, she is left in the care of Toya. Living on the brink of death, she must brave her woundss, and Syaoran, his family. He must face his mother in order to define the line of life and death.

Offline Akahna

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Re: Syaoran's Hope
« Reply #1 on: December 28 2005, 03:16 am »
What do you think? This is only the second story so far I've posted on the internet... and neither are finished. :heh:
What I work on and what I (and others) have to say about it!

WORKING ON NOVEL!            Please, bother me... I need a distraction...
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WORKING ON POETRY!          It's Tuesday already?
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Offline Akahna

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Re: Syaoran's Hope
« Reply #2 on: December 28 2005, 05:26 pm »
I'M FINISHED!  :wav:
What I work on and what I (and others) have to say about it!

WORKING ON NOVEL!            Please, bother me... I need a distraction...
WORKING ON VIDEO GAME!             Bother me and die...
WORKING ON FANFICTION!              It's about time!
WORKING ON ANIME!            Hopefully school's out when you are...
LISTENING TO MUSIC!             Duh...
WORKING ON SLIDESHOW!          Again?!
WORKING ON POETRY!          It's Tuesday already?
WORKING ON HOMEWORK!                    GET ME OUTTA HERE! THE CEILING'S GONNA CALLAPSE OR SATIN WILL REIN HERE! IT'S THE APOCALLYPSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Offline D.J.P

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Re: Syaoran's Hope
« Reply #3 on: December 28 2005, 05:39 pm »
Overall not bad.

A couple of pointers:

1 - Spell check is your friend, either that or a proof reader

and second, script format and lack of punctuation makes the story a bit confusing to follow.
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Offline suu_no_clover

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Re: Syaoran's Hope
« Reply #4 on: December 28 2005, 05:49 pm »
Something about this fic made it different from the other CCS fics I've read. It didn't have the typical, lovey SxS feel like most stories. It had a more realistic feel to it, that made it kind of american. It's like a play, as well... spiffy. ^^ The ending was a bit ooc for Syaoran, and kind of rushed with the whole "lived a quiet life in the country" thing, and there were a couple of typos, but other than that, pretty good.

((You left your name in chapter 4, paragraph 4 instead of Sakura's. Small error.  :tongue3: ))
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Offline Akahna

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Re: Syaoran's Hope
« Reply #5 on: December 29 2005, 02:47 am »
About the typos, I don't have spellcheck on and I dont know how to turn it on. About accidentaly putting in my name, this is just the name of a charactor in the book I'm writing. I always end up thinking that I'm writing that and not this. Really stupid, really. :sweatdrop:
What I work on and what I (and others) have to say about it!

WORKING ON NOVEL!            Please, bother me... I need a distraction...
WORKING ON VIDEO GAME!             Bother me and die...
WORKING ON FANFICTION!              It's about time!
WORKING ON ANIME!            Hopefully school's out when you are...
LISTENING TO MUSIC!             Duh...
WORKING ON SLIDESHOW!          Again?!
WORKING ON POETRY!          It's Tuesday already?
WORKING ON HOMEWORK!                    GET ME OUTTA HERE! THE CEILING'S GONNA CALLAPSE OR SATIN WILL REIN HERE! IT'S THE APOCALLYPSE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!