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I.

Kurogane’s POV


A wrist that moved slowly.

A body that leaned forward carefully.

A cutting glance that looked up to me.

Then

A fake smile with two cold words;

“Ohayoo Kurogane“

Shock

Emptiness

Anger

Fury

“Don’t move.”

Lie

Fear

Anxiety

“I won't run away.”

Hate

“I said, don’t move”

Escape

Solitude

Loneliness

Damn mage! - I mutter to myself as I walk away from you, then lean with my back on a pillar. Your words still echo and hunt my mind.

A damned false, constrained smile and a painfully dissonant name.

I always preferred my ordinary name.

…

Kuro-rin, Kuro-tan, Kuro-puu, Kuro-pii, Kuro-sama, Kuro-wanko, Kuro-run
…

These many ridiculous, irritating, nerve-racking nick names of yours.

I hated them!

I detested them!

I never liked them at all!

Just call me by my own name and stop petting me! I am not a child anymore!

“Kurogane”

But somehow …

“Kurogane”

… the way you said it…

“Kurogane”

… Was just not right…

“I won't run away”

Heh, you are doing it even now!

… I am angry with you, and so you are with me. Both of us with a reason!

Me, because you gave up; and you, because I did not!

I doubt we'll ever agree in the future either.

You will keep running away from me, but I will always be right behind you.

The ironical beauty of this world is that anything you've ever done in your life is irreversible…

So far I've never regretted anything!

“Kurogane”

Of course …

“Kurogane”

… Neither this.


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II.

Fai’s POV


My wrist moved slowly.

My body leaned forward carefully.

I looked up at the one standing in front of me.

I recognized your figure.

Then

I put on my usual mask as I opened my mouth for speech.

„Ohayoo Kurogane”

Lie

Anxiety

Escape

„Don’t move”

Shock

Anger

Solitude

„I won’t run away”

Fear

„I said, don’t move”

Fury

Hate

Loneliness

The look in your eyes, when you glanced down at me.

Those short, but painfully epigrammatic two sentences that you gave to me.

„Don’t move”

Your response to my cold attitude.

„I said, don’t move”

After all this, why are you still worried about me?

„Don’t move”

Please, don’t look at me with those eyes!

„Don’t move”

After my untrue and cold smile, I am just not worthy of your unreservedly worried, warm words.
...

Kuro-rin, Kuro-tan, Kuro-puu, Kuro- pii, Kuro-sama, Kuro- wanko, Kuro-run

...

Hehe, the nicknames.

I never called anybody by nicknames before you.

You hated them, didn’t you?

You detested them, didn’t you?

You never liked them at all, did you?

„Don’t move”

Then why... why did you glance at me like that?

It was my fault 'cause I had crossed the line!

In my life I did things and then felt sorry about the outcome, but it was okay... I never regretted them, 'cause I can’t turn back!

I have to go forward!

I have to run!

I have to escape!

From now on I have to hide myself even from you!

I just hope that you will not follow my footsteps. That you will not care about me anymore!

I just hope that...

„Don’t move”

...this decision I made now...

„I said, don’t move”

...will not be regretted.

Kuro-...


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III.

Breathing



It all happened suddenly. Out of the blue a bunch of big and ugly monster attacked the camp, where the little group was resting. The piched battled became harder and beyond possibility as the number of the unknown creatures increased.

Everyone had to fight because every hand was needed. The blond mage hadn't completely healed yet, sometimes suffering from painful headaches - but according to Subaru it was normal in his current state. A moment later Fai was separated from his comrades and found himself surrounded by a group of huge monsters, completely alone. His agility and ingenuity haven't disappointed him until a sudden dizzyness came over him and made him lose his balance. By the loss of alertness he didn’t notice the big monster that was about to stab the mage to death with his fangs from behind. By the time he sensed the creature’s attack, it was already too late. The spiked fang would've pierced right through his head if a familiar katakana didn’t interfere. Kurogane countered just in time.

Fai stared at his sudden rescuer with one wide eye, and he saw blood everywhere. Since the ninja was too busy with the monster in front of him while chaos ruled that part of the desert, Kurogane didn’t sense the other good-looking monster that sneaked up from his left, preparing to cut the ninja's right leg open. After the awkward accident the warrior’s condition worsened, his blood-loss increased. Kurogane glanced at the mage, who was in a state of shock. His blue eye starred dazedly into nowhere and his body refused to move. There was no time left. The ninja noticed a narrow gap on a nearby cliff. Now or never situation! Kurogane grabbed the delirious blonde and slipped themselves into the opening - just in the nick of time. Since the gap was too small for the creatures, they couldn’t follow the two men.

The moment Fai's back hit the wall, he came to his senses.

Leaning against the cliff, he watched the ninja who was supporting himself against the wall above him, trying to catch his breath, while blood wouldn't cease to pour from his right leg. Kurogane lifted his gaze to meet Fai’s, watching carefully the pale blue eye filled with dread. None of them spoke.

Slowly, the black-haired man’s lips drew nearer to the mage. Fai could feel the ninja’s every breath on his face. His eye was still wide open. Then Kurogane leant further to the mage’s left and whispered five words in his ear.

Five words that left the blonde breathless. Five words that made his eye grow even wider.

Then Kurogane’s forehead reached Fai’s shoulder, and unconsciously he fell on top of the thinner man’s body. The blonde collapsed. He was crumpled near the ice-cold wall with the senseless and warm body in his arms.

He began speaking to himself with a painful smile:

No, it can’t be... this is not a teardrop...

...these are not tears...

This is sweat!

Exudation!

I am not crying!

These can’t be my tears.

I don’t even remember the last time I cried, if I ever did at all.

Come on, smile!

Smirk!

Laugh!

These are not tears!

They aren't!

This is not like that!

This is not!

This is...

’ I don’t need your forgiveness ’

Love.


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IV.

My place in this world

(A place where I belong)

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